You Deserve Fame! Fortune! Worship! Chicks (and Dudes!) UNLIMITED POWER!!!
Transform Your Old, Broken Down Audience
into a Shiny, New, Insanely Dedicated Following!
IT’S TIME TO…
When you’re trying to build a cult, the claims of spiritual rewards and life everlasting and all that stuff is just NOT enough to bring in the high-paying, super-subservient followers you need to reach the upper echelons of cult leadership…
You need an appealing presence, kick-ass uniforms and all the visual trappings that will bring asses to the seats and make them whip out their check books!
At Pimp My Cult, we believe that every cult deserves to stand out in the crowd, whether you’re recruiting followers or trying to impress your rivals. Our dedicated cult stylists will work tirelessly to transform your mundane cult into a soul-saving phenomenon that will make even the most jaded would-be follower do a double take.
With our mind control makeovers, we’ll give you the power of mesmerizing charisma and hypnotic influence. Get a voice that can command the masses! We’ll work our magic to ensure your disciples are hanging onto your every word. Just imagine the look on their faces when they realize they can’t resist your persuasive charm.
With a properly pimped cult, your job becomes easier. No longer do you need to convince people to join your cosmic cause. Your cult will speak for itself and become a magnet to all those looking for the salvation only you can offer! More eyeballs, more members and more willingness for them to do exactly as you say!
That tells you a couple of things…
You need to keep the people who ARE committed to you,
and you need a way to sway that remaining 82 percent.
That’s not just branding.
It’s not smoke and mirrors. It’s not magic. It’s 30 years of pimping businesses large and small. It’s deeper than a coat of paint, doper than a shag carpet and more fun than a full-sized pool table in the back of your Astrovan
*Keep in mind… millennials are currently 27-42 years old. That’s a massive swathe of the buying and business public. Like them or not – they’re likely YOUR audience.
Cult Pimper Since 1971